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	<title>Interpretations of a Bilingual Life</title>
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	<description>&#34;If you really want to hurt me, talk badly about my language.&#34;  -Gloria Anzaldua</description>
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		<title>Interpretations of a Bilingual Life</title>
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		<title>Bilingual Instructional Strategies</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/05/04/bilingual-instructional-strategies/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/05/04/bilingual-instructional-strategies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 May 2012 15:12:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bilingual Education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Language:Culture Expression & Identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My Disclaimer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second Language Acquisition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spanglish vs. Code-Switching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Why a doctoral degree?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bilingual strategies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pedagogy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SLA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sociolinguistics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=283</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There is some ground-breaking work to be done in the field of bilingual education. This work involves the development of instructional strategies that has the heritage language learner in mind. The following are a few terms (used by various researchers) who are starting to do work in naming and developing those strategies: Cross-language Transfer Translanguaging [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=283&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There is some ground-breaking work to be done in the field of bilingual education. This work involves the development of instructional strategies that has the heritage language learner in mind. The following are a few terms (used by various researchers) who are starting to do work in naming and developing those strategies:</p>
<p>Cross-language Transfer</p>
<p>Translanguaging Pedagogy</p>
<p>Border-Crossing Pedagogy</p>
<p>Instructional Applied Linguistics</p>
<p>Hybrid Literacies</p>
<p>Multilingual Pedagogy</p>
<p>Multilitericies</p>
<p>Critical Additive/Bicultural Pedagogy</p>
<p>Flexible Bilingualism</p>
<p>Multilingual Pedagogic &amp; Curriculum Research</p>
<p>Unfortunately, unless researchers from competing fields come together to develop these strategies we will continue to keep language minorities marginalized. In other words, the field of Second Language Acquisition, Bilingual Education, and (Socio)linguistics need to merge and get passed their paradigmatic tensions so that we can begin to create a pedagogy that benefits various models of bilingual education (e.g., dual language, transitional, ESL) where many of heritage language learners are placed to either learn another language or develop their native one.</p>
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		<title>Poetic nuances in our bilingual life&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/03/29/poetic-nuances/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/03/29/poetic-nuances/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Mar 2012 03:05:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=269</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[its a smile a caress its the fluttering lashes on your smooth skin its the the tone in your voice its the way you dance a smile, a kiss its what we do everyday play with arena point to aviones try out new words its the look in your eyes the tiza the paint el [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=269&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>its a smile<br />
a caress<br />
its the fluttering lashes on your smooth skin<br />
its the the tone in your voice<br />
its the way you dance<br />
a smile, a kiss<br />
its what we do everyday<br />
play with arena<br />
point to aviones<br />
try out new words<br />
its the look in your eyes<br />
the tiza<br />
the paint<br />
el papel<br />
all the new discoveries<br />
that remind me<br />
of the things I miss<br />
because the details get smaller<br />
as time passes<br />
besos<br />
mi&#8217;ja</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>A glimpse into my academic life&#8230;..</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/02/03/a-glimpse-into-my-academic-life/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/02/03/a-glimpse-into-my-academic-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:05:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discourse analysis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language policy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language-in-use]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[linguistics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sociocultural theory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sociolinguistics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=267</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This semester I am learning about language policy and discourse analysis. I am utterly reading pages and pages of material that are of utmost interest to me. I feel as if I have found my niche&#8230;or as I explained recently to a friend how my desire to become an anthropologist when I was a child [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=267&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This semester I am learning about language policy and discourse analysis. I am utterly reading pages and pages of material that are of utmost interest to me. I feel as if I have found my niche&#8230;or as I explained recently to a friend how my desire to become an anthropologist when I was a child is finally coming true. I am not becoming an anthropologist, but I am using research methods grounded in anthropology to study/research the way people use language. So below I offer a glimpse of how my thinking about language is evolving as I read pages and pages of salivating information about discourse analysis and language policy. Enjoy!</p>
<p>When speaking, researching, studying language-in-use it is impossible to leave out the political, economic, and social factors that influence language because language is a social construct. Yes, from a Chomskyan point of view all languages are inherently equal when it comes to structure and how they are acquired, BUT what is different is how the perception of each language is constructed as a result of political, economical, even religious factors SO how do we study or speak about language-in-use without considering our subjective views as they are influenced by our social, economical, and political ties. Is it in how we frame our research question and/or in how we analyze the data?</p>
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		<title>How to choose the best foreign language school for your child.</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/01/09/how-to-choose-the-best-foreign-language-school-for-your-child/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2012/01/09/how-to-choose-the-best-foreign-language-school-for-your-child/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:25:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bicultural Experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bilingual Education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bilingual Experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Language:Culture Expression & Identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second Language Acquisition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[foreign language schools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[immersion schools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parents and second language education]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=247</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Has this crossed your mind? Are you in the process of trying to find a foreign language school for your child? This topic is one I have been thinking a lot about for several years. As a former teacher I often times sought out the ideal settings to teach Spanish or English in and what [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=247&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Has this crossed your mind? Are you in the process of trying to find a foreign language school for your child? This topic is one I have been thinking a lot about for several years. As a former teacher I often times sought out the ideal settings to teach Spanish or English in and what I have come to realize are many things that make a great way to learn another language. I am in the process of drafting an e-book about the characteristics that make a foreign language school/experience the best for YOUR child. In other words, just like many parents spend time and money scoping out schools, in general, the parent who has learning a second or third language a priority for their child also has special interests and important decisions to consider and make.</p>
<p>In my opinion, there are so many things to consider, but the problem the parent who has learning another language as top priority also has the added challenge of being limited by the number of schools to choose from in any city they may live in. It is, unfortunately, a situation very common in the US.</p>
<p>I am writing this post to get an idea about the specific interests parents have when looking into foreign language schools in their community. I&#8217;d like to offer my unique perspective, not only as a parent who shares the same interest in finding the perfect foreign language school, but as a doctoral student who knows about some of the most optimal methodologies to teach/learn another language.</p>
<p>Please share some of your specific interests/concerns when looking into foreign language schools.</p>
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		<title>2011 in review</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/12/31/2011-in-review/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/12/31/2011-in-review/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Jan 2012 03:09:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=244</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog. Here&#8217;s an excerpt: A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,900 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 32 trips to carry that many people. Click here to see the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=244&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.</p>
<div style="background:url('/wp-content/mu-plugins/annual-reports/img/emailteaser.jpg') no-repeat center center;height:300px;"></div>
<p>Here&#8217;s an excerpt:</p>
<blockquote><p>A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about <strong>1,900</strong> times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 32 trips to carry that many people.</p></blockquote>
<p><a href="/2011/annual-report/">Click here to see the complete report.</a></p>
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		<title>Speaking Spanish brings out the best in people&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/12/09/speaking-spanish-brings-out-the-best-in-people/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/12/09/speaking-spanish-brings-out-the-best-in-people/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:01:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bicultural Experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bilingual Experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Language:Culture Expression & Identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second Language Acquisition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spanglish vs. Code-Switching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bilingual life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bilingualism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lingua franca]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spanish]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=231</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The older Sabrina gets the more Spanish I speak. The more she learns to interact, the more I use Spanish&#8212;-sounds normal, right? Well the scenarios I am about to describe in the paragraphs below are beyond normal. Let me preface the stories with, when Sabrina was first born I was having a hard time (for [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=231&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The older Sabrina gets the more Spanish I speak. The more she learns to interact, the more I use Spanish&#8212;-sounds normal, right? Well the scenarios I am about to describe in the paragraphs below are beyond normal. Let me preface the stories with, when Sabrina was first born I was having a hard time (for many new-mommy reasons) making the effort to communicate with her in Spanish. Now, thankfully, it seems to fill our days and routines, although never did I imagine I would encounter scenarios like the ones I am about to share.</p>
<p>What I am starting to realize is that other people are noticing, more and more, that we are not speaking the dominant language&#8211;English. Speaking in Spanish to my baby girl is bringing out the best in strangers. Let me give you a glimpse&#8230;</p>
<p>The other day we were grocery shopping at a pretty popular market. It&#8217;s the kind of market that serves gourmet, chef-prepared foods&#8212;such a delight. We were actually walking passed the chef-prepared food aisle&#8211;I like to admire the food and dream about buying it guilt-free. At any rate, this man noticed that I was speaking to Sabrina in Spanish&#8212;I think I was saying something like, &#8220;No, Sabrina. No toques eso. No es juguete mi amor.&#8221; She was reaching for an odd shaped box with some sort of specialty bread in it. This was happening while I was also admiring the food when an older man turns to me, holding chef-prepared green salsa enchiladas in his hand, he looks at me with a sincere smile, and says, &#8220;This looks like something you may like.&#8221; WOW. I was shocked. I wasn&#8217;t offended because he was so sweet about it, in a way. Now, I may be totally off here, in that he may have uttered the same sentence had I been speaking in English. The thing is&#8212;me speaking in Spanish and strangers making comments about it, either directly or indirectly, is starting to become a pattern. Some of the readers may even blame it on the fact that I live in Texas, a predominately conservative state. Here&#8217;s the thing. I have experienced instances like these when I lived in a &#8220;liberal&#8221; state, too. I grew up in Orange County, CA and experienced similar stereotyped comments growing up all the time&#8211;at least it seemed like it was all the time. Can you believe that I was I was once asked (when I lived in a predominately white city in SoCal) where it was that I tanned!</p>
<p>So, the second scenario where me speaking Spanish has brought out the best in someone happened about a month ago. This one left me feeling shocked, yet a little hurt as well. I was in another grocery store. This one is just a traditional market. My abuelita was with me and I was speaking in Spanish with her, my daughter, and subsequently with the lady behind me in line. I can&#8217;t remember what my abuelita and I were talking about, probably about the food we had just bought. She wanted to make arroz mexicana. I had purchased some wine and the cashier starts motioning to me as if she were driving and saying &#8220;drivers license, drivers license.&#8221; I realized quickly that she didn&#8217;t know I could speak English as well which is totally fine. It&#8217;s her second comment that really upset me and I probably should have called her out on it right away. She, then, said to me (as I was taking out my drivers license and continuing to talk with my abuelita), &#8220;English, please. English!&#8221; I was, again, shocked. Interestingly, right at that same moment the lady behind (who knew English and Spanish) said, &#8220;Que linda es su bebita. Cuantos meses tiene?&#8221; In fact, now that I think about it I think she asked me that to, in her own way, tell the cashier that we can speak whatever it is we want. We weren&#8217;t even speaking to the cashier! The cashier, once again, said, &#8220;English, please. ENGLISH.&#8221; I proceeded to swipe my credit card on the machine, looked her in the eye and said (because she still thought I only knew Spanish), &#8220;Actually I can speak in either one, English or Spanish. I can speak both.&#8221;</p>
<p>What are some experiences you have had speaking a minority language in a majority-language context?</p>
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		<title>Crib Bilingual vs. School Bilingual</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/12/07/crib-bilingual-vs-school-bilingual/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/12/07/crib-bilingual-vs-school-bilingual/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Dec 2011 20:44:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bicultural Experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bilingual Education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bilingual Experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Language:Culture Expression & Identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trilingual Baby]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crib bilingual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school bilingual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second Language Acquisition]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=212</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are various routes one can take to become bilingual. Since I have made an effort to raise my daughter with at least 2 languages I have learned mine is just one way, and really, there are multiple ways to becoming bilingual. I consider myself a &#8220;crib bilingual&#8221; in that my parents native language is [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=212&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There are various routes one can take to become bilingual. Since I have made an effort to raise my daughter with at least 2 languages I have learned mine is just one way, and really, there are multiple ways to becoming bilingual. I consider myself a &#8220;crib bilingual&#8221; in that my parents native language is Spanish. Spanish filled our home, our lives effortlessly. I, on the other hand, find myself stumbling over some Spanish words when speaking with my daughter. Like the other day, I realized that I did not know the words for earlobe or nostril!</p>
<p>As I mentioned earlier, there are various avenues one can take to becoming bilinugual. The difference, though, is to what extent will my daughter be able to speak Spanish in various contexts. This is where I like to think that though she is a crib bilingual, she will also become (which I did not have the opportunity to do) a school bilingual. She will have experienced both Spanish and English  day in, and day out. She will be considered a simultaneous bilingual. That being said, no matter which route you happen to be one, I think individuals that speak more than one language (despite the level of &#8220;proficiency&#8221;) also develop two language systems&#8230;that my friends a whole other realm of language acquisition!</p>
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		<title>A window to my past&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/11/27/a-window-to-my-past/</link>
		<comments>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/11/27/a-window-to-my-past/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:11:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abuelitas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bilingual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[narratives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spanish]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=210</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A few weekends ago my abuelita was in town. I hadn&#8217;t seen her in a long while because I have been overwhelmed with my studies and, quite frankly, it&#8217;s difficult to travel with my one year old daughter. We spent the day together. We spent the day cooking, talking, and enjoying each others company&#8230;..well, actually, [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=210&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A few weekends ago my abuelita was in town. I hadn&#8217;t seen her in a long while because I have been overwhelmed with my studies and, quite frankly, it&#8217;s difficult to travel with my one year old daughter.</p>
<p>We spent the day together. We spent the day cooking, talking, and enjoying each others company&#8230;..well, actually, me regañó to the max degree! She scolded me, she nagged me about how undomesticated I am and how little I value the extended family I have in my life, and then she broke out into tears&#8230;.se le salieron las lagrimas ;(</p>
<p>She reminded me that she grew up with no one. Literally. She was an orphan in Jalisco, Mexico about 60+ years ago. Her older sister went to look for her when she old enough and they lived together for many years. My abuelita reminded me that she had to teach herself everything she knows about life, which included what I lacked, cooking skills to start.</p>
<p>As I was washing dishes she reminded me that, though, I am too busy pursuing a doctoral degree, and she only reached a second grade education, that she is much more educated.</p>
<p>Let me pause&#8230;..</p>
<p>I know it seems that I am portraying my abuelita in a negative light, but what I am actually trying to show is a window to my past. Our day together was pleasant. The stories she shared with me and the thoughts about how I am living my life came out of concern and are rooted in the pain she has felt in hers. She was trying to pass down some consejos to me and that is something I can appreciate. The whole day I felt like she was trying to share as much as possible with me about what life has taught her, while at the same time, I know that part of her rambling is due to old age, but still. The woman had something to say.</p>
<p>This post is a perfect example as to why I want my bebita to learn Spanish. Many times when I try to share something, the words that most poignantly describe the thought, story, or sentiment of what I am trying to say are in Spanish.</p>
<p>That particular afternoon, with my Abuelita Cata, could not have been lived had I not known Spanish.</p>
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		<title>The Bilingual Connection in Texas(Tejas)</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/11/08/the-bilingual-connection/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:50:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bicultural]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bilingual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[code-switching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spanglish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://suzannemateus.com/?p=192</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The other day I was speaking in Spanish, like I always do with my daughter, and in English, like I always do with my sister. Somewhere between talking to my sister about her studying for the GRE while at the same time chasing my baby girl around the room, I ended up blurting out to [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=192&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The other day I was speaking in Spanish, like I always do with my daughter, and in English, like I always do with my sister. Somewhere between talking to my sister about her studying for the GRE while at the same time chasing my baby girl around the room, I ended up blurting out to my sister, &#8220;Toma your pencil.&#8221; After I had grabbed it from my 17 month old as she attempted to put it in her mouth, which is nothing out of the ordinary. This is how she explores her world. Apparently, this is how my bilingual world connects, sometimes. They meet in the middle of a sentence. It should really be no surprise that so many people in Texas code-switch, blend Spanish and English, sometimes making a new word using the 2 languages.</p>
<p>This is the bilingual connection. This is Texas!</p>
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		<title>25 Years without my Father&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://suzannemateus.com/2011/11/03/25-years-without-my-father/</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Nov 2011 20:37:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>suzannemateus</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[This coming year, 2012, marks the 25th year of my fathers passing. Interestingly, it is also the year I turn 36, the same age he was when he died. I want to write a post that can highlight the difference his passing has made in my life. I was only 11 years old when he [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=suzannemateus.com&#038;blog=28093425&#038;post=188&#038;subd=suzannemateus&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This coming year, 2012, marks the 25th year of my fathers passing. Interestingly, it is also the year I turn 36, the same age he was when he died.</p>
<p>I want to write a post that can highlight the difference his passing has made in my life. I was only 11 years old when he left. For many years I would view his passing as the time away he had spent from me, my two sisters and my mom. For the longest time I would count how many objects, whether they were tangible things or the people in our life, that were also around when he was alive. And although the things, and unfortunately, the people dwindled in numbers as the years past, his absence was never forgotten.</p>
<p>They say the way someone dies is a crucial factor in understanding the way people mourn a loss. They also say that the hardest losses to endure are those of first and foremost a child, then a parent, and lastly a spouse. Well, in my fathers case and because he was so young, we, as a family mourned heavily as he was a young father, son, and husband.</p>
<p>As the years pass, I think I will always feel like a part of me aches and like a part of me will always feel like I am missing something&#8230;someone. The times in my life that have been the hardest living without my father for so long have always been pivotal moments in my life, like: graduating from high school and college, getting married, and most recently having a baby.</p>
<p>During these past 25 years, he has missed a lot, a lot I think he would be proud of, but the truth is&#8230;he has still spent a lot of time away from us. About once a year I dream that he and I are sitting in front of each other. I am trying to catch him up on every little detail about my life and my sisters lives, and although it is nice to think that through dreams those who have passed away may be the way they communicate with those of us who are still living, the time we lost can be hard to compromise&#8230;.</p>
<p>As I write and reread this post I realize that there is probably not enough space to describe how his absence has left a huge impression in my life, so I&#8217;ll stop here.</p>
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